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Learn the Art of Gentle Confrontation

It feels good to be a hero, and customer service people often get to play that role. The customer comes with a problem, you solve it, and you're a hero.

That's the way it should be, but there are times when "grappling with grouches" seems to be the order of the day. When it happens, try the three steps of gentle confrontation recommended by Rick Kirschner in his video program, How to Deal With Difficult People. They are:

Step one: Stay in control. You're a pro, and you can handle this.

Step two: Stop the rant by repeatedly saying the person's name. At this point, it's also important to stop wishing that things were different.

Step three: Tell them something that may be important to them. Then be quiet and let them talk. Remember to be understanding. It's not the same as being a doormat.

The Greek philosopher Epictetus said, "If someone criticizes you, agree at once. Mention that if only the other person knew you well, there would be more to criticize."

There may be a grain of truth in the philosopher's 2,000-year-old words. Agreement with the complaining person is disarming, and it opens the door for a reasonable discussion.

If he says he expected the shipment last week, and thinks it's terrible that it didn't come, tell him that if it was promised then, you agree. Having settled that point, you are free to discuss what you can do.


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